Dilemma

I decided to type this in blue because it's how I'm feeling. I know that since my mother in law is gone that life will never be the same. I know that we will forever miss her. I guess my expectations were just too high. We are having so many issues in this family that I'm uninterested in celebrating Christmas and this used to be my favorite holiday. All I want to do is curl up in a ball, watch movies and sleep. I wish that it was not such a selfish world. I wish that things would just go over smoothly and that we could enjoy each others company. Why does it have to be so hard? I ask myself this question often never to get an answer. I don't want to be depressed and I don't want to shut people out, but I feel sometimes like that is my only option. I need to get out of this depression. I need a change in my life. I need a new turn, a change, something to get me going and be the happy person that I love to be.